Wednesday, November 29, 2006

All of a sudden, this wave of emotions sweeps over me. I think i have been much too complacent with life. I have not exactly been pretending to be happy all this while, as how I appear here. I don't feel particularly unhappy nor do I genuinely feel the sort of happiness that seems to come out from what I write. Nothing has happened to change how I feel, I just feel very tiny. & insignificant. I don't know how to describe this. The saddest thing is that I have never been able to pinpoint my true emotions and put them into words. In this case, everything has been fake. Oh and to cheer me up, I feel really bad about how I butchered the English language in the exams. Yes it's coming back again. Not the academic part, but that I single-handedly destroyed and changed the whole meaning of a summary.

It's almost as scary as killing someone... changing the intentions of someone, blurring the clarity of what was trying to be communicated so that nothing appears as it was supposed to be. It's positively frightening to have the unnecessary power of ruining something so powerful. It does not make you feel powerless, it makes you all the more susceptible. To put it simply, you have ruined your very self.

hate the way I feel compelled to chronicle every eensy detail of my
life. Am i scared that I will forget what has happened? What's the
point of remembering the tiny details that pepper your life? Is that
enough to satisfy me?

I thank Avril once again. Her ballad "Keep Holding On" is totally
appropriate to how I'm feeling, not in the sense that it is
motivational. If i pretend hard enough that she really wrote the song
for her fans who need support, I can almost believe that she is
psychic. Fine, who am I kidding?

I really dislike IT. it's scary how I change my mind so fast. I was
just writing about how much I loved it- with the poetry we got to
write. What irks me is the stereotypes. Now i know I wouldn't be able
to stand it... stand studying in a classroon of people acting so fake.
All on a superficial level, so much that everyone appears to know
everyone else when they really just need some companions to kill their
time. If I ever got to the point of acting so unbelievably fake,
please hit me. I don't even want to make this feel less offensive. Go
ahead and think that's how I feel about everyone in my class. If EOY
programmes are supposed to feel like fun which everyone seems to be
having, then I have made the worst mistake possible. Not my choosing
Expository, but my subjecting myself to the torture unfolding before
my eyes day after day. It has the power to kill.

I would not be able to stand JC i think. Secondary school is bad
enough. I don't like pretending to go with the flow, to have to try
hard to fit in. I respect everyone, but if moulding myself into them
is what it costs, then I would rather not. The only thing I can hope
for is that my closest friends remain true to themselves and what
makes them uncharacteristic. If not, I would be sucked into a sea of
faceless people. Really, I am extremely scared, I have this urge not
to have to go through so much superficiality. I think I may even be
scaring myself too much. I am paranoid. After what I have seen and
realised that life is probably gonna turn out that way, I don't want
to go down that route. (Shit, I sound suicidal) I don't mean I want to
do silly things, all I mean is that I don't want to turn into someone
else. Cos that's what WILL happen.

I don't want to look at someone with a fake smile on my face and
pretend to like them genuinely as a friend.

It's not JC, it's people. The way society works is frightening. For a
prime example, look at Jane Austen's era. Her satires mirrored their
inadequacies, and I can see how unhappy she was about it. Society was
the factor (in my opinion) that turned those women into greedy,
scheming money-minded women who wanted marriage for precisely that
reason.

The thing is, I want to sound extreme and evil and speak my mind
exaggeratedly for a change. I don't want to play things safe by
containing myself in what is supposed to be my space.

I don't even know what I'm talking about already. To be as incoherent
as those abstract writers is sadly satisfying. I should post totally
incoherent rambles more. Or I should go into a sort of reclusive
hiding and write in a leatherbound diary. Nah, writing's too tiring.
Man, this makes me feel better. I don't know if what I have written is
completely true and the intensity may not be how I feel.

Now I shall submerge myself in Reality TV.
My brain must be a junkyard, stuffed to the brim with intense feelings
then filled with mindless unmentionables.

//
Edit:
I quit Creative Writing. Jamie's right- I am too scared to be in the class by myself. I follow people too much. But if you want to know the truth, I guess its becaue I can't stand the way some people act. More than that, I don't like being in isolation. Haha, at least for Expository, the people seem nicer and less irritating.

On a happier note, Mr Raphey solved my Rubik's cube - all it took was a trip to the bathroom. Genius math whiz! Hmm maybe I shld've taken Math, then I would know how to shock people with solving all these math things. Went to Borders cos i had 30percent off, in the end, Baihui and Kewei used up my vouchers. Which made me more than happy, cos they will lend me their books, haha. Jessica is the nicest teacher ever!She made some nice comments about my essay even though I use horrible imagery and extra commas (according to Jamie). Anyway, never call Evey cute. She will box your ears out.

In the school computer lab now. Kewei is trying to get her parents to let her sleepover ;D Rachel(s)+ Baihui are going to come and watch CSI tomorrow as Baihui persuaded her dad to get her CSI:NY. It cost 100+ bucks! Gawd, even I wouldnt pay so much to see blood splattered about. Guitar lesson was cancelled at the last minute, poor Lena's sick. Everyone seems to be getting the bug. I have quite a bad sore throat.& my cousin's feeling under the weather.

I almost had a heart attack just now. Trying to speak Chinese to Kewei's mum. I feel really bad cos my chinese sounded horrible! Oh & Kewei's fiance checked out her room, so they arr practically married. I really must improve on my Chinese!

Monday, November 27, 2006

This seems like the right timing, what with so many rich people around.

My Xmas Wish List!
1. Avril’s ’07 Calendar- what other better way to usher in the new year?
2. Avril’s Budokan DVD (only available in Japan)
3. KJH 5 Stella Lights CD
4. Princess Hours VCD Set
5. Prince Hours VCD Set ( sponsored by my dearest cousin)
6. A Cool Gothic-Looking Wallet
7. People to write Fics for me and my long-anticipated ficart from Baihui
8. Kino Vouchers!!
9. BOOKS! Shakespeare plays, Jodi Picoult novels, Guitar Score books, Classics, Lisey’s Story by Stephen King(!)
10. Deathnote DVD
11. Extremely cool guitar shaped bag from Depression
12. More T-shirts!
13. More Hoodies

I shall stop before people start throwing eggs/random vegetables at me. But they are not really exorbitantly priced items right? Bah.. I’m not expecting much as I may not be giving much, thanks to blowing my money at Kino today. However, I do promise Fics in return :D Don’t expect a really good plot as my brain has recently shriveled up and lost all its creative juices. Hopefully expository will give me inspiration to write better.

Expository writing at Stanford today! Nerd camp was fun! Today got off to the wrong start with me directing my dad to the wrong bus stop. I huffed and panted all the way to the classroom blocks, man, HCI is massive. I sat next to Evey, and had fun teasing her about her very slow writing. Our teacher is called Jessica, she’s getting her phD in english. I sort of expected some experience professor to be teaching us, look at the amount our parents are paying.

Nonetheless, her English is really good and she is extremely eloquent. Except that we spent most of the time writing our essay. I must learn to write slowly, cos they give us a lot of time to write. I finished it up pretty early, so I browsed through Battle Royale, sponsored by Jamie. I can’t believe she is reading it.. she seems the sort who would be turned off by such sadistic .. things.

So basically the whole day was spent going through some writing techniques, which were helpful. I’m ecstatic that we are going to spend the first week on personal essays, then the 2nd on argumentative. Argumentative is the pits! Our essay was about the best/worst holiday we had.. and I am proud to say that I didn’t fabricate it. Only a bit.. cos I forgot some details. Jamie wouldn’t let me read her essay. “It’s bad.” Coming from a girl who does well at LA.

Then met up with Baihui and Kewei during lunch! In the end, I didn’t make any contact with them. Still anti-hugging:) Kewei’s hair looks like limp vegetables. Fine, it’s quite nice as it’s rebounded and she’s going to grow it out. Baihui is in need of clothes… she was wearing ny uni. Chatted, Kewei is disappointed that her teacher and the tiny boys in her class are not good-looking. This is the perfect example of superficiality.. Stanford is supposed to be a learning experience, not some dating opportunity. Stupid baka! Oh and the first time having boys in the same class as me for quite a long time. It was really nothing spectacular.. they’re just a bunch of guys who like to answer questions. Rather eagerly. & I answered questions without the teacher prompting. Jamie the loudmouth debater didn’t even say anything. Ha but that was probably cos she was sitting all the way at the back.

I loved the handouts. There was an intriguing piece from Stephen King, I guess appearances are deceiving. From his books, he seems like a scary guy, but he is actually a normal family man. Haven’t read his novels yet, anyone has any of them? We got this adorable book called the elements of style, by e.b. white and his professor. It’s really hilarious, sarcastic and all.

Trooped off to Kino on a mission with Baihui and Kewei. To get clothes for baihui. Apparently she’s deprived of clothes. In the end, we didn’t get any. Browsed HMV etc. We all got books at Kino. Thanks to me, they saved lots of money. Baihui bought this video game artsy thingy which was a whooping 50 bucks! Mad person, but she really loves art. Kewei bought some vampire comics and the time traveller’s wife which I’m going to borrow. I got 2 books- The Dante Club and A Midnight Summer’s Dream by Shakespeare. Actually I have no idea why I bought that as I totally don’t get the language he uses. But I’m a sucker for love entanglements, and Shakespeare does it best I guess. Doomed, haven’t even read finish Julius Caesar.

You can’t take the Science out of 301 people.
Jamie: Oh shit, why did I drop my cards all over the floor?
Mengyuan: It’s inertia you see…- launches into lengthy physics explanation-
Jamie: Oh I see…
With these people around, camp is going to be amusing, if not highly annoying. I guess that’s just the way academic smart people are.

Shall be Baihui’s fashion adviser on another day. Accompanying Baka to buy plane tickets tomorrow after expository. Yay before I forgot, a big THANKYOU to JAMIE for persuading me to take expository! Although I regret not taking creative writing as they get to take both expos and creative. Creative sounds so fun, they do story writing and stuff. Looks like I’m going to be surviving this camp after all.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

EVIDENCE THAT I AM NOT UNREASONABLY OBSESSED WITH AVRIL:
ARTIST: AVRIL LAVIGNE
SINGLE: KEEP HOLDING ON

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Amid so many posers in her wake, Avril Lavigne has taken her time, stepped back and maintained her integrity, waiting for the appropriate moment to return. Soundtrack song in between albums? (Next is due in April.) Ideal. "Keep Holding On," from fantasy flick "Eragon," due December 15, meshes her authentic lived-it (albeit still youthful) vocal signature with an uncharacteristic orchestral arrangement and anthemic pop chorus ("Keep holding on, cause you know I'll make it through/Just stay strong, cause you know I'm here for you"). The result sounds like cross-format sustenance. Industrywise, Lavigne is riding the delicate border between Top 40 babe and adult Top 40 mainstay ... Here, she commands both sides. Gorgeous song, probably requiring an edgy video, but in any case, it sounds like she is set to remain for the long term. —Chuck Taylor
thanks to avrilbandaids for being the best avril update site ever!

I think I've mastered the C-chord, yippee! Haha well I'm a complete amateur so it's a big accomplishment for me. Just went for Stanford Programme briefing, I'm taking expository. Evey also switched from creative writing to expository! Excellent, I need company since Baihui+Baka are taking Math. Haha saw Baihui in NY uni (deranged) walking there. So we gave her a lift inside. The talk lasted for a grand total of 10 mins, and it was about the HISTORY of stanford. Probably Yanne would start getting that mesmerised look on her face, but I doubt many others were interested. So it was about everything we already knew or could be found in the booklets they supplied us with. At least I had Baihui to chat with. Baka is only coming back tomorrow... so she'll be jet lagging and falling asleep during class!Heh no she's probably be too busy chatting up hot guys=)

More on nerdcamp tomorrow, pls don't let me morph into a geek!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Exhausted doesn't do justice to the way i feel now. Aching arms and
legs and basically torso,
feeling as though i have been pulled about by people like a puppet on
strings. Anyway, today was the MOST
fun i have had in a long time. Laughing, that is. Laughter is the best
medicine! It came from laughing so hard at
the ideas our dear jiayun cloudie came up with! for heritage trail.
Can't reveal much here in case any juniors read this
secretly which i doubt. Anyway, our clues for the heritage trail are
SO COOL & CREATIVE! but they r very tricky! & its like AMAZING RACE
ASIA!!!we have detours and roadblocks and fast forwards. At first we
wanted to have BUNGEE JUMPING!(sorry for capitalising, its cos i was
kinda excited by it)but ms ong didnt allow cos it's "too dangerous".
ARGH i was looking forward to trying out the clarke quay bungee jump
with me batchmates=( & hearing Valerie and mingyi scream lol. Pre-camp
training was tiring, 830-330 of outdoor stuff-gadget thingums and
firelighting which makes u all sooty and smelly. Jiayunnie was a
genius to coem up with the idea for one place... man, people are gonna
think we r terrorists!! We shall be i/cs together and creatve havoc.
We ordered in Macs, and it took bloody long so we went off to esso to
load up on food supplies. jiayun and valerie were pigs and got instand
noodles when they ordered macs. We r going receeing, was supposed to
meet yanne, but dont have a choice. Sorry, Yanne!=( But anyway,
receeing will be fun too:) can imagine us asking the person at that
place whether they'll allow our terrorist bomb thingum idea. All the
brilliant ideas came from the mastermind, cloudie. But i must admit
that she is the most creative, if most ridiculous person everrrr!

Anyway, psle results ARE OUT! i am happy to say that i beat my
cousin:)) we got the same psle score but i got distinction in higher
chinese as compared to her merit (3 yrs ago) Can u believe i got
distinction!!?? Hmph well my chinese used to be quite good considering
i just started learning it in p1. Until sec school that is. Looking
forward to the recee trip with 8 sec3s, ongmingpok, cloudie, jolynnie,
bernice, rachel chng the retard, mai and huimin. It will be more
productive than our last one!

I hate to admit it but I miss my classmates. Haha. Cos i havent seen
any of them, except Jolynn. I shall envelope Baka & Baihui in a
suffocating embrace when i see them at standford. OHnoes i hope we
dont have to wear home clothes to stanf. cos my clothes all look the
same, all black:))

Okay i shall be good and tune my guitar and work on Lit sia stuff=)
Was talking to my juniors today.Can't believe only 4 people in the
whole sec2 cohort are taking history. In our year, it's very popular.
& now bio is so popular too!Yay, and there's one whole class of Lit
students. YAY! Finally, people are becoming more interested in humans
and cool stuff like Bio! My subj combi is considered very rare, i
guess, for the exclusive people=)
--

YIPPEE this will be a gloating post. So if you feel deprived of
anything right now, don't read on. I warned you.

Got my Guitar!:D It's a red classical guitar, cost around $200,
subsidised my mother. Mothers are the best! Unfortunately, I have to
pay her back, so i'll have to take up a job or pluck out the white
hairs off her head or something. Met my guitar teacjer and she helped
me decide. Chose that as I dunno if this interest is gonna last for a
very long time. Its good enough to take the grade 2 exam. Shaowin got
a bloody 300 bucks one while poor valerie got a 70 dollar one:)

Suddenly, i love all those disney songs, like from the movies
soundtracks. As a young girl, i used to be infatuated with all those
lovely songs... but i always felt a sense of melancholy that i never
seemed to be able to remmeber the lyrics. Now i can relive all that
disney glory.
Anastasia OST is worth a listen, i'd been trying to
search for the songs once upon a december & at the beginning for ages.
Mulan, The Little Mermaid, The Nightmare Before Christmas have
amazings songs too. I guess Disney does have its magic. Even though
studio animations like pixar/bluesky studios are making a lot of money
at the box office, Disney songs are the ones that stand the test of
time. This marks my foray into being a pop music addict again:( I am
even beginning to like Jesse Mccartney's/Vanessa Hudgen's songs=( Oh
no, I am turning 10. Promise to get out of this teenybopperish phase.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I'm like the most unaccomplished person, considering how free I have been lately. & considering that the next few weeks hold a whirlwind of activities for me. Anyway, I've been busy discovering mp3 rotations & stuff. Yesterday, we had guides. I suggested using Avril's brand new unreleased song (refer to last post) for campfire!:D But i don't think I and many others can sing so high.. Avril's voice is simply amazing! But then, I dont know if its even legal as the song has not been officially released here. But I'm sure many seniors love Avril, like rachel goh etc.

My first time chopping wood, was quite an experience. I actually managed to do it! Was very accomplished cos i thought i would give up halfway. We also split wood and hacked away at a log. Very energy-consuming. I named my piece of wood Shockiest after Shockie in Flushed Away, Valerie's was shockie and Mingyi's was shockier. We held a funeral for Shockie, Valerie's wood. We even had a tiny sermon thingie. Here rests Shockie, he lived a short but fulfilling life. He was a good piece of wood. We'll miss him dearly. Then, we proceeded to bury Shockie under dirt. where he'll contribute to the ecosystem of life. We were teasing Shaowin about Edwin too and she chided me about getting a folk guitar.

Heh, which reminds me, I'm gonna be getting a new guitar today:]Meeting with Lena to hunt down a nice guitar. yay! A classical guitar!:] Unfortunately, they don't look as cool as folk ones, but they're much less painful and produce nicer sound! Wanted to go to the guitar festival, but have stanford briefing and don't think Valerieee/shaowin are interested.

Cloud rocks<3 !She appointed me as the make up artist for ******** along with her!!! Whoohoo man I'll have the greatest time LOL! Shall ransack my mum's cabinet for make - up to practise and some poor people will have to bear the agony of having vandalised faces! Oh and her boyfriend is called Rain, that evil korean singer who charges so much for concert tickets.

ANYONE WANNA BUY A BLACK FOLK GUITAR IN GOOD CONDITION? PRICE IS NEGOTIABLE. IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, CONTACT ME BY TAGGING OR AT AVRIL.ADDICT@GMAIL.COM!
I would paste a picture but im really too lazy to.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

OMG AVRIL'S NEW SONG IS OUT!on american radio only, though. it's called keep holding on! It's on the movie Eragon!! Be sure to support Avril by buying her new cd next year!<3 It sounds fantastic I swear!!!OMG ITS HER BEST SONG YET! (I think) a Very different, more emotional sound! If anyone wants to listen or u want the clip, get it from me! Check out the lyrics at the sidebar. Really, as an Avril fan I would obviously say her material gets better, but this must be the most uplifting song since at the beginning!It's WONDERFUL! Of course it is, since Avril wrote it for Eragon, it's a ballad type. OMG Avril is getting better and better!!!

Friday, November 17, 2006

I was planning on blogging long-ly (sorry bad english) about the
sleepover with my cousin but I shall just write about that in point
form. Why? because I was inspired by Jamie's post. Okay I will just be
copying the whole discussion on her blog shamelessly but really, I
think that the whole concept is intriguing. Anyway, here's basically
what happened, not in chronological order as my brain operates in the
same way as bonesetter's daughter.
- watched my Lovely Samsoon. That actor guy is almost as pinchable as KJH=)
- played with Danielle!
- Did masks for one another and scribbled all over each other's faces
with eyeliner. mwaha.
- painted nails with an assortment of gross colours
- watched DEATHNOTE- ze highlight! My mum is mean for saying that
Light looks weird;( I was too busy explaining the plot to grace, my
mum and my maid to appreciate the actors' acting
- gossiped TONS. i do have a teensy bit of girl genes=)
- watched my lovely samsoon again. It's really quite amusing,even
though the storylines are so similar to all other dramas.
- Went out to orchard
- blew my budget on cheap (ear)rings.
- Felt nauseous after consuming Cheer's nachos, they are really tough
and disgusting. Never attempt to eat them.
- Destroyed the deathnote keychain at Cine. Since I lack integrity, I
did not own up. Just ordered another keychain. It's the one with L's
laptop, it looks cool!
- couldn't find books at library@orchard nor any comics

Back to what I wanted to talk about. I never really got down to giving
Battle Royale the credit it deserves. The reason
it appeals to most teenagers is probably becuase of the "cool concept", but
it has a deeper meaning behind the
bloodshed and violence, it is really about internal conflict and
whether you dare to trust people. Really, if we were plunged into such
a horrifying situation, would we kill our classmates? I know everyone
will vehemently deny the mere notion of killing others. believe it or
not, that was what people like Shuya Nanahara claimed, and he ended up
killing people too, for reasonable erm reasons. Ah ok i feel really
bad for just swiping Jamie's idea off, and I may be talking utter
gibberish,but really, I would like to ponder about other people, if
this situation were to happen. Which is again very unlikely, but just
for the heck of it, and to alleviate my guilt at copying off her post.
I don't mean to offend anyone, and I am not accusing anyone of
thinking of such violent thoughts. But you have to agree that it is a
truly interesting thought. I don't mean anything derogatory or
whatnot, so don't send me hatemail.Like all those superstitious people.

Besides all the goriness, its not about whether u r noble enough to die
for those you love, but of the complexity of human nature. As in, u can
be claiming that u would readily die for some one, but at the last minute,
on impulse, kill the person. Everything is unpredictable. I honestly think that
the truth would only be revealed if something like that were to really happen.
Otherwise, no one would really know the truth. Hope nothing like that
would happen,
but then the government would have to be seriously screwed. It's
sadistic.. what would
they get out of implementing such a stupid authoritarian programme?
But the book is riveting, and what it teaches is even more priceless.

Would I die for Avril? For my family or very closest friends? I
honestly think I would
for family, because I know they'd do the same for me, but that is
quite a stupid reason.
In all honesty, I would say I don't know about Avril. Even though she
is my idol, and I really look up to her etcetc, she is after all out
of reach as a famous star, and though people may think of her life as
being more valuable, it would actually be up to me to decide at that
moment. It would have to come down to the actual thing happening right
before me for me to confirm what I would do.It is a bit far-fetched
and very impossible, but still, think about it for a moment. This is assuming
that the person has to kill to live. Not assuming that we are fresh on
the island and
no one has been killed yet. So don't mind the harshness if your name appears:D
it's only about whether you'd fight to stay alive.

Oh and Battle Royale is about a class of students left on an island
and forced to
kill their classmates to survive. They have a choice whether or not to
kill. Oh and
in case you're wondering, they have no means to escape, but they are some pretty
smart people in the book. Read the book, I think it should be better
than the movie,
it's translated from Jap to Eng, so it sounds a bit awkard but it
contains the gist.


307 people
Kewei- omg I really don't know. Even though she is my closest
friend in class, she is totally warped. She acts baka too, but she
can be a bit scary at times. Plus she's really self-motivated.Hello, she
said she would totally ignore me if she got a boyfriend=((( So,
hmmm... She's a very nice person but it's hard to tell =) She's the
type who is quite determined to get what she wants, so I really have
no clue.

Baihui- DEFINITELY, without a doubt! Waha not that she's evil, I mean
my sitting next to her must have influenced her in some way to exhibit
her nice side. But, she has that diabolical look on her face, and she
is very intelligent and can be mean if she wants, and she reads all
those graphic comics and she was the one who introduced me to battle
royale again, so YEAH.

Rachel L.- I don't know. She's a nice friend, and we share many
similar interests, but I have no idea what she would do. But all that
swooning over HSM must have amounted to something.. right ?=)

Rachel T. - Oh Man this is a TOUGH one! Rachel T. must be one of the
nicest people I know, but I have always had this impression that she
could double as a supervillain. I mean it in the most reverent way
possible, I just think that she is ultrasmart, like her counterpart,
Baihui. I guess it comes down to whether friendship means more to her.

Jolynn- Noo way.. haha. She's way too innocent! She would be telling
me retarded jokes and laughing in that lame way of hers. But then
again, it's hard to to tell.She gives off this nonchalant attitude
sometimes, which is frightening.

Florence- yeah, she would laugh in that high-pitched voice, and go
very low, "mwaha it was all a pretense! I am a chicken villain." Can totally
imagine her as an evil chicken!=)

Steffi- NOOOO she's way too nice, she's such a role model and
practically advocating peace and goodwill to mankind. But then again,
she's the leader of SJ, hrm so she must be really steely and
determined. But I think overall, her niceness surpasses the strict
persona she takes on with her cca mates. So she wouldn't, steffi san
is too nice.

Heather- HAHAHAHA. I think she would be bawling her eyes out if it
happened. She would worry about not taking any more exams=) Ha, no
offence, Heather!

Elizabeth- Same as Jolynn, I think their characters are very close.
But she is also a very driven person, so who knows?

Aileen - Totally! I mean she's the council president or whatever, and
she is the type who will get things done no matter what. Of course,
she would probably hesitate about killing her ex-desk partner what
with our love for Avril, but I think she would do it!

Shall move on before Survivor starts!=)

201 people:
Yanne- NOOOOOOOOOOOO she's a very loyal friend. Correct me if I am
wrong but she has bucketloads of integrity and she is always preaching
about it like her ahem teacher, so she better not be a hypocrite and
nip our friendship in the bud. HAHA. Seriously, I doubt she even can
hold a weapon!=)

Valerie- YES! She always has violent tendencies around me and never
fails to hit me when I say something totally normal, so if I gave her
a glare or something, she would kick me with her powerful legs. Or if
i mentioned Ben! She would say sayonara, mama and kill me !=)

Grace- YAH. She acts dumb sometimes, but she is smart, somewhere under
all those comics she burrows her head in. She would be a bit
apologetic, but definitely get down to business. She definitely cares
about other things more than her friends=)

Jamie- OBVIOUSLY!!! She isn't as foulmouthed or mean as she was, in
fact she is quite mature now I think. However, I think she has it in
her to become a serial killer if she wants. At the same time, her
faith (in God) seems quite strong , so perhaps she would not resort to
such things. I think she's nice, but she seems the type who will do it
if only for the sake of self-survival. Come on, she's so smart and
seems to have the ability to numb herself, so perhaps she would.

Terri- Yeah! Hrmph she always teases me and stuff, so she wouldn't
feel bad about this. Terri is a nice cuttle little girlie, but she has
it in her to do what she has to, I think. She reminds me of that evil
girl who will use her cute factor to advance her position. But then
again, her faith in God won't make her so manipulative. & we have been
friends for the longest time, same class for so long, so perhaps she
might take that into consideration!

Sheryl- I think so, she would forget all about the 5 years of being in
the same class. & she would get her revenge on me for calling her a
microscopic creature!

Li Syn- Yeah too. She can be quite manipulative if she wants to, and
she appears to cares about other things more than her friends. But
then, we used to be quite good friends, so I don't know.

Tricia- Hrm Hrm Hrm I don't know. I guess she would if she had to. But
she's also quite sympathetic and one of the first friends I made in
Sec 1, so I think it would be a hard decision for her.

Jiaqi- Don't know. We were quite mean to her in Sec 2, sigh don't
wanna rake up bad memories but I realy feel bad for being so mean to
her even though she was also quite mean to me=) She is one of the only
people I would not blame if she killed me, cos we went through quite a
rough time. But then again, we were very close in Sec1, almost like
best friends, so I think she'd remember that.

Tag me if you want me to write about you!=)

GUIDES FRIENDS!
Mingyi Pok- YAHHHH. She's a very sweet person, but she would think of
all the things I like which she hates and realise that we have nothing
in common. She would proceed to torture me and force me to LIKE
Britney, like those Jap occupation people, and when I refused, she
would stab me with a PINK bayonet.Ahaha!

Shaowinnie- DEFINITELY!!!!!!Without a doubt, she is one of the most
ruthless people I know, at least she acts like it, even though i know
she has a heart of gold. AWWW. She always pinches me and acts
generally mean to me, so she would. Especially with the Edwin teasing
and so on.

Jiayun/Cloud - I don't know. I remember that in Sec 2 we didn't really
like each other, but now we are quite close. Esp after that "adult"
talk we had:D She's a christian and very traditional at heart even
though she does not appear so, so noo. But if it were to survive on
her own, absolutely=D

Huimin- She's too nice!!!!!!! But then she's a smart person, so she
would probably have thought of some strategy to win or something.

Ant- Dunno. Perhaps she will recall the fun we had that day and not do
it. She's also nice and a christian, so i guess not. But we arent
close friends, so she might, then again.

Others:
Avril!!!- Haha, erm, I guess so, not because she is mean but because
she does not know me and I would appear as a weird stalker fan which I
actually am. Since she doesn't like stalkers, she would be scared of
me and kill me=( boohoo. I would be worshipping her and she would be
freaked out. But she would probably sing one of her songs to appease
me as my last wish on my deathbed=D AWWW.

grace, my cousin- DUNNO. Even though she always calls me lame and
teases me (you know how pri 6 girls are), BLOOD IS THICKER THAN
WATER!:D & we are best cousins! She would probably pick me out of her
friends, but not when it comes to her immediate family. But then I
would threaten her with all the private things she has told me, so
that would be emotional blackmail.

Eudora!- haha my good ole primary school friend, who has kept in
contact so long with me. Probably not, cos its against her religion,
and she loves me too much=D Waha, but she can be very unreasonable
when she's angry so if she were angry, she would be unhesitant.

Jolyn F.- HURHUR she's so incredibly blur! But she has violent
tendencies, and LOVES blood more than me. So she would kill me ala
Dracula style, by sucking the blood out of my neck and weakening me,
so I would roam the world as an Undead long after everyone died=D She
would be the only person to make me undead yet dead as a vampire!!

Mindy Ong- We've known each other since we were ... 5 years old??? All
those poignant memories in America as neighbours and carpool-mates,
and now we still keep in touch here. Haha she was one of my best
friends when we were young and remains a good friend, so I guess not.
But I really have no idea.

My Maid!- HEh Heh. Don't know, I think she totally hates me for
ordering her around. But she so affectionately named the fish after
me, so she must like me a bit. & she's quite caring and stuff and is a
funky maid, so maybe not. But to survive, I wouldnt be surprised if
she got her sweet revenge after all these years of bossing her around.

Parents- I am sure they wouldn't. As in, parents are supposed to be
willing to give up their lives for their children, right? Even if my
dad is mean to me and calls me weird names and threw a remote control
at me (I bear grudges okay!), he would. They love me too much, awwww.

My future adopted child- After finding out that I've been keeping her
in the dark about being adopted, it would turn ugly, like those horror
stories where the child kills the parent. So i'd better tell her about
it early on, and see how she reacts to it.

Fellow Avril fans- We claim to be loyal to one another, but
worshipping Avril has nothing much to do with one's wish to survive,
especially under circumstances that only one person lives. & that if
we didnt kill, we would not have the chance to see Avril again. At
least thats what I think, even though the thought of harming another
Avril fan is too much to bear.


MOST LIKELY TO WIN IN A GAME OF BATTLE ROYALE
my class- Baihui! I know she loves me -ego- but she would be the most
likely person to become an evil villain and take over the world, and
inflict us with her sarcasm!=D Then she would also sink into
depression after realising her evilness, and write long angsty fics
that would become international bestsellers!
201'05- Jamie pang. Cause she's so damn smart. But i think she'd be
the type who would end up killing herself afterwards cos she has a
conscience. It's just that she'd be unable to help being smart just
like she's unable to stop herself from topping the best class in the
exams!=/ It's just that she is too brainy, lol.

OHGosh this has been such fun. Once again I apologise to Jamie for
copying her idea but I could not resist!=D After such bland posts,
this has been the most fun! I think it would be terribly cool if we
asked these type of questions for games like truth and dare, it really
makes you philosophize and think deeply. What if what if what if.
Whoever actually read finish this deserves a huge round of applause.
pardon the typos, and once again, there may be some ultra sensitive
people who will take offence, so don't. For once, I actually let my
imagination run wild, I recommend other people to do the same thing,
if Jamie does not mind of course.
ALL CREDITS TO JAMIE WHO ROCKS!omg did i actually say that? But
really, this also has much to do with the garbage I watch on tv, like
survivor and amazing race. It all boils down to this:
Would you Kill to Triumph? Or be killed with an honest conscience?

Oh no I realise then that either i don't really trust my friends or they would
really kill me. How? But i cant claim to know a lot of them well
enough to judge.
The human character is too complex. Waha this was done in boredom again.

Another character I'd like to talk very briefly about is MITSUKO
SOUMA. The evil girl who seduces people into practically having sex
with her, then killing them. She really comes across as cruel and the
worst person in the book besides that other mechanical guy(forgot his
name), but she;s very much like mayella in tkam. Flawed characters,
they appar bad at first glance, but then, you realise that it was a
result of what happened to them, their family environments and
background. The question is, can you blame someone for being bad when
the reason that they are bad is because others were bad to them in the
first place??? So, if badness is passed on and the person did not opt
for it or willingly accept it, can that person be considered truly
evil? Will that person burn in hell or waste away to nothingness to
repent for his/her sins? I think it's really tragic, I don't know how
to ascertain if they are bad or good or neither bad nor good. I just
think that they have flawed natures and its not entirely their fault.
At the same time, there are people who choose NOT to be bad after
they've been treated badly. Instead, they become samaritans to spread
joy instead of evil. So, there has to be a little of self-willingness
to participate in the scheme of evil. Hrm, would like to find out more
about what people think about this.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Hallelujah. Gerass & I are watching Step Up :] We wanted to watch Deathnote , or rather I wanted to, but it doesn't work on my dvd player. Too frightened to watch Covenant. Anyway, Valerie bailed on us as she (had) a stomachache, and it was too inconvenient for Yanne. Nevermind, shall go out another time with them. Which reminds me, havent been seeing much of fake food people, especially baka who's away in china. Perhaps we can go catch Deathnote 2 together. Okay gonna watch High School Musical next!

Before I forget, everyone who reads this, go and find the book Dracula! I swear its the scariest book ever. It's even more scary than all those shows I don't dare to watch. You'll be creeped out for the rest of your life after reading it. The ideas in the book are really horifying ones, read it & you'll understand. Don't read it and you'll not be haunted but seriously deprived.

Okay, so we watched HSM (my 4th time!), and Gerass seems to enjoy shows with bimbos inside cos she was laughing like one, as always. She wants to be asked over when HSM2 shows on Disney Channel. Yay i got company. Then we played some badminton for NYAA, less than an hour passed before I was out of breath. I don't exercise, I'm a couch potato. Attempted to teach her Ode to Joy on guitar, and she managed to play it! I feel accomplised as a amateur teacher, but she played quite horribly. She fared better on the piano. She should be coming over next week, since we live in such close proximity. It's cool hanging out with old friends and watching brainless movies!

I have not been doing any work lately, so gotta catch up already. Tomrrow's gonna be cool too, watching Deathnote with the AMAZING grace, the other one.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

I've been slacking like nobody's business at home ;] Been watching stuff on Utube the whole day. Ha i hate to say i told you so, but i told you so! Referring to the Britney divorce thing. Poor Mpok's gonna be devastated, or maybe happy, depending on whether she likes K-fed.

So, no plans for this week, except movie marathon on wed! Yanne, Valerie & Grace are coming over, and i shall make them watch the Covenant & Deathnote !! & if there is time, we shall embark on some serious studying.

This is what happens when you've been fangirling over a girl (Avril) for so long. You start obsessing over Korean/Jap guys. Why have I only just discovered them? Go, Ken'ichi whatshissurname and Tatsuya Fujiwara and KJH!;D hey did u know that oppa= big brother in korean? Seriously thinking of taking up Jap someday. According to my mum, Korean doesn't sound as nice as Jap, no offence to anyone.

Since you have witnessed an unlikely transformation, I'm sure you people will be all the more willing to purchase my CDs, so as to aid in my growing interest in Korean/Jap stuff. Buy those old cds from me ! The list is below. Get cracking.

As for homework, I have attempted bits and pieces of it. It's in a huge mess right now. Ee... my mum's friends are coming over to play mahjong later, it sure as hell is gonna be noisy. Shall hide in my room and do weird stuff.

--
Okay doing weird stuff now. I'm overjoyed cos i managed to download 5 stella lights!;] it's a good album, though a bit too pop for my taste. Sirius and Still Believe are the nices!Holy shit, never imagined I'd think certain j-pop was nice. I swear this is going to go away soon. I'm still in hiding- in the guest room, while my mum's boisterous friends are playing outside.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

biennale

CDs for Sale! ( Need to raise money to buy MCR + Nightmare B4 Xmas + KJH's cd)
Hitz album - a lot of popular singers
ashlee simpson - i am me & autobiography
ryan cabrera- take it all away
Lillix - Falling Uphill -- not a well known band, but they sound a bit like Avril, not bad.
Spiderman 2 soundtrack -- lots of good rock anthems
Katy Rose- Because i can --sounds a bit like Avril, but nowhere near as good
Alicia Keys (2nd latest album)
Britney Spears -god, i had such mad taste!
Marion raven
The white stripes
Lindsay Lohan - Speak

That's it for now, i still have quite a few more. Pls contact me if you are interested, you'll have the satisfaction of having helped someone in need.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

NEW Skin feat. deathnote!;D That actor guy (i forgot his name) looks so cool, he acted as the leads in both Battle Royale and Deathnote! In the school com lab now. yanne's watching dachangjin-.- going to the biennale later.


Some people just love to be hated. Or rather, they love TO hate. WhenI read the comments on current bands, I was really angry. There hasalways been a certain group of people all over the world who hatecurrent music. They have a right to, obviously, but I think they aretaking it too far by bashing any bands, irrgeardless of whether theyproduce good music.To them, any music by any bands in thispop-rock/emo-rock era is pure crap.

They do not hesitate to complain about the unoriginality of music ofbands such as Nickelback, Hinder, even insulting Bon Jovi which haslegions of fans internationally. Fine, maybe their rebel music isbetter, more soulful and not so commercialised, but it's reallysickening for them to blindly criticise anything on MTV. I do have to agree, though, with how a lot of hiphop/r&b music is corrupting thebrains of youngsters, but I have no right to label it as lousy music,just because I don't like it. It's just the image they portray whichcomes across as deragatory.

I, like any other normal person , just pay no heed to bad music if it doesn't interest me.Just because certain bands like making acoustic-y tracks which arenthardcore rock doesn't mean they're scumbags who will jump at theopportunity of earning big bucks. Just because their songs (may be) easier to play and the lyrics aren't so abstract that they areundecipherable by the masses doesn't make them any worse. They thinkthat music has to be so abstract and not contain any simple languagefor it to be profound and good.

Angst-ridden songs don't go well withthem.I'd like to remind them about the essence of music. Music is an outletfor us to express how we feel and not about how well we can playinstruments. Please stop criticising bands just because you don't liketheir type of music. It doesn't make them bad. I think they deserve apat on the back for trying to save the current music scene from
unfortunately quite a few from what I can see.S

o sorry if no one plays real rock anthems anymore. The music scenehas metamorphosised as it always will, and it is because of what themajority of people want that it has evolved to where it is right now.If you want to go and rebel against the masses, go right ahead, noone's stopping you. In the end, it's not like you can change anything.The best thing would be to listen to what you like best, withoutresorting to lambasting "bad music". On the contrary, it actuallyshows how truly affected you are about it.

Certainly,the music scene has watered down considerably. Lyrics arenot what they used to be and songs on the radio are run of the millpop-rock anthems. Unsatisfied people are going to have to face up tothe fact that music has changed, and it will continue doing thatwhether they like it or not. All I\'m really trying to say is thatpeople should accept the diversity of music preferences, and notresort to slander just based on their opinions. No one has the right to tarnish the reputation of people out there making music for aliving just for their selfish personal satisfaction."

They deserve a pat on the back for trying to rid the scene of parasites- those who are only in it for the money and fame, which are unfortunately quite a few from what I can see.So sorry if no one plays real rock anthems anymore. The music scenehas metamorphosised as it always will, and it is because of what themajority of people want that it has evolved to where it is right now.If you want to go and rebel against the masses, go right ahead, noone's stopping you. In the end, it's not like you can change anything.The best thing would be to listen to what you like best, withoutresorting to lambasting "bad music".

Certainly,the music scene has watered down considerably. Lyrics are not what they used to be and songs on the radio are run of the mill pop-rock anthems. No one really needs to have a fanstastic voice to score number one hits any longer. Unsatisfied people are going to have to face up to the fact that music has changed, and it will continue doing thatwhether they like it or not. All I'm really trying to say is thatpeople should accept the diversity of music preferences, and notresort to slander just based on their opinions. No one has the right to tarnish the reputation of people out there making music for aliving just for their selfish personal satisfaction.


Tuesday:
went out with Val C,and to my surprise, we were both clad in quite similar colours. redand black and blue. heh. We wasted our money on a bad movie, flushedaway, (if you havent watched it, thank your lucky stars, it was atotal waste of 6 bucks!), well shockie was quite amusing but otherthan that, it was almost as bad as madagascar. except for somereferences;) like to charles dicken's, according to the newspaper.

Out of curiosity, we went to MISE, the place everyone is so crazy about. I bought a tiny Princess Hours card, the ones of KJH lookednice but girly. Omg lots of Jap stuff there, if only some shop herecatered to Avril merch, i would really go broke. Valerie ogled overjejun (sounds ridiculous), some weird jap guy in some weird jap band.First time those fangirly shops, it was quite an experience.

I got my Deathnote notebook!I will use it over and over again, pencilmarks can be erased;) sadly, there're no pics of L/Light. We alsostumbled across Grace & guides juniors obsessing over Princess Hourscomics. Drooled at Deathnote comics, but we knew we couldn't affordthem. Came up with an ingenious plan to coerce grace into buying thewhole set and lending them to us.

Ooh and the saddest bit was spotting the most wonderful emily thestrange bag (it really rocks, even val likes it), and the exorbitantprice on the tag:( 69 bucks! I've since gotten over it though cos itsway out of budget, especially because of those lessons. Gotta getstrings and a music stand. At this rate, I will really be penniless.

Went hunting for V's cap, finally found a decently priced one.Rampaged the gramophone outlets, but they didnt have hinder's cd:(Actually, life\'s not too bland at the moment, if you waste away yourtime like me:) Mine's something like a few hours watchingKorean dramas/talented people playing guitar videos on youtube, a few hoursof reading, a few hours of tv, a bit of time for homework & sias, &some time for listening to music. I could get used to this!
Homeschooling would totally suit me.

Here's an Avril update! Avril's 3rd album is coming out inApril 2007, so it's not too far away ! (being optimistic here) Therewill be 15 songs, and she says its her BEST CD YET! Despite that beingan obvious promotional strategy, i believe her. I mean, she's collaborating with Deryck Whibley (her husband!), Butch Walker, TravisBarker (drummer of Blink 182) and she wrote all 15 songs on her newalbum. It will contain more love songs, but also her famousboy-bashing type of songs. Omg can't wait for it!!!!! Disclaimer:Everyone's been telling me that Avril has been girlified, but i beg todiffer, and so does she. She mentioned that she is growing up, and ofcourse needs to embrace her feminity. But, she's still a tomboy atheart and her fave colour's black. & she's not really modelling, itsjust that a bit of modelling work is being done and controlled by heragency, ford models or something. Avril Rocks! -credits toavrilbandaids.--

Monday, November 06, 2006

Music- Lips of an angel --Hinder
I Love Hinder! Fantastic band from US that sounds like Nickelback, but rougher and edgier. Nickelback was great- until they became commercialised. Lead singer is irritating but their songs are very good. Their new CD, extreme behaviour ,which has quite an obscene artwork cover, but at least they beat all those whiny pop starlets. Real music, at last!

Very pleased to be out of the Korean zone:) Finished watching Fog Street, on to My Tutor Friend. I recommend Fog Street, but thats only cos KJH's inside, otherwise it's not a very excellent minidrama.

Now i'm in a much better mood:D I had my first individual guitar lesson today. The teacher is nice and cool, apparently she's heard of Avril so she can't be all that bad. Know how to play ode to joy now, but my fingernails keep getting in the way, gotta cut them.

Youtube is addictive! I was just watching others' covers of acoustic songs, and a lot of them are excellent!They can sing well and play guitar well! Wow i am so impressed by how so many people can play so well. One girl's voice sounds identical to Avril's! I was so amazed. & a lot of people who covered Hinder's Lips of an angel sound much better than that idiotic lead singer:D Shall go watch more instructional videos. Shall go guitar shopping with Valerie one day, i want to sell my folk guitar. It stings horribly, i heard that people with it can end up with bleeding fingers.ow.

Ooh and i feel accomplished cos i managed to do that weird upside down pose;) Unfortunately, nothing's progressing in the writing department. Anyway, anyone has Jodi Picoult novels? Lend them to me! Vanishing acts is good, Keeping Faith is also not bad, but the ending is downright creepy.

Anyone want to get guides cookies? :) Buy them FROM ME now, while stocks last!

Friday, November 03, 2006

In a bad mood for no reason. Or maybe I just can't be bothered to find that out. Ah well... certain people are just nauseating.

I don't need to dig deep to see the hypocrisy lying underneath. It's hard to believe that after knowing someone for quite long, they turned out to be tainted, like all the others, nothing but a superficial shell of who she used to be.

Once again, I've been inflicted by Blogger's block- the syndrome of not knowing what to blog about, a bland and flavourless life. Anyway, does anyone have Fog Street / My Tutor Friend mvs/dvds? I really need them! Fog street has KJH and seems sad . It's nice watching sad shows without shedding any tears, though somewhat sadistic.

Plans for Next Week-
go out with Vchew
go out with yanne
first g. class

Everyone's away, its boring. I never wanna see another bloody proposal of any kind. I still don't know how to read comics- from the back or front?!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

i hope i don't get sick! it was raining cats and dogs just now at clarke quay, where mpok, jolynn and i were reckee-ing. (however you spell it) We went there to look for potential stations for the guides heritage trail during camp. It's around the same area as the last heritage trail, but all the stations'll be different. Anyway, i feel a tad cold now, which is a bad sign right! oh no. I never really get sick often thanks to those vit. pills, so i hope they sustain my health. We had lotsa fun today!

There was PLC at first, I'm the treasurer with Zhuoxuan, cos i didnt want to be hard/soft QM.Must learn from steffi.san. After that, went down to Chinatown with Val+2 ppl mentioned above. Ate and looked for attraction places in Chinatown, but we were totally lost, so went to clarke quay. At this point, Valerie just ditched us. Heh dont blame her though, cos she isn't in our group anyway.

Was playing bingo with Val+Mpok as we were really bored. Why is everyone around me turning sexual? (i.e. opposite of asexual) Like Valerie who has a pic of some weird Korean guy on her handphone, and Shaowin & Edwin and Baihui (i think) who seems to be gagaing over Jap boybands. It seems like I'm the only sane person.

I was sharing Mpok's gross pink esprit umbrella ( the worst possible combination) and it was highly uncomfortable as we squelched simultaneously. Jolynn and I decided to jaywalk, while Mpok was chastising us at the other end, as we ran off. Poor Mpok was stranded without an umbrella, as I had stolen away with hers. By the time she found us, she looked like a drenched chicken.

AT least, the reckeeing was pretty productive. Thanks to their great navigational skills, and intelligence of sourcing out Singapore Tourism Center, we found almost all stations, though the rain prevented us from actually visiting them. Was really funny, screaming with Mpok as the lightning crackled in front of us.

Damn jealous of Kewei's overall average and MSG, it's so pretty. Sigh, gonna work out on my proposal. posted some pictures of The Spine+Jamie+Grace's visit below. Going to work on IH, Guides proposals and LA.



My neighbour's baby!



















































































































Today was certainly... fun. Unfortunately, the photos are taking VERY
long to load, so maybe i shall not put them up. After all, words are
more impactful and meaningful:) So, Terri, Jamie and Valerie made
their way to my house, we took a taxi back. Jamie broke her shoes, so
i had to bring slippers for her. & they couldn't decide on what movie
to watch, ok it was more of being engrossed discussing results. Which
was fun to gossip about for a bit, but once it touched on very
sensitive subjects, it was SAD. okok i know i did really badly for
that subject already, but no one shall ever know how horribly i fared.
Depressing:(

Everyone was ignoring Valerie's pleas to go to the park and my request
to play truth and dare:( love that scandalous game!:) which reminds
me, really need a sleepover soon, shall invit the fake food gang after
their overseas trips. Of course, dear Gracey too.

Sadly, Terri didn't bring her skateboard. I was planning to become an
expert on it. They were all showing off their musical talents- Jamie
playing my grade 1 piece (i think i played more smoothly than her on
that=), Terri who figured out the scores to the Full House theme song
by herself, Valerie on my very out of tune guitar. goodness, now i
know why i cant seem to play a decent song, it really sounds
horrible:( ) Feel very inferior compared to them. Nvm, shall hire
Shaowin's teacher, who will train me individually. Anyway, there're
other fascinating hobbies-like fics!fics forever!whoever says they're
boring has no taste, i tell you, if youve never written a tiny story
with absolutely no academic purposes, like school essays, then u wont
know how it feels to write. It's an unexplainable feeling, writing for
writing. Unlike what Jamie said, there does not have to be an
overarching concept.

Happy Birthday to my mum in advance, her birthday coincidentally falls
on Halloween=D Lucky. Happy Halloween, it was really a fun holiday,
its sad that
Singaporeans dont bother to appreciate such a fantastic holiday.
Shall spend the whole of tomorrow nourishing my brain with Wuthering
Heights and fic-writing and Lit Satire research and Math. Yeah man, I
can do it!

KYNA.
407. Nygg!
AvrilAddict.
Books.
Music.
Writing.
Guitar.


To get Avril's new album before anyone else =P


Bleh I don't wanna link you. So there!

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